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Company Car by Alana Dunlop

 
there you are
in your company car
eyes as wide as
my legs were.
you tell me i’m why you’ve
quit smoking and
you tell me you’re afraid
of being boring and
my mouth knows
you like a
loose tooth
(I’m just not used to you).
 
i’ve never met your friends
and you left them for
that night on the hill,
with my shirt off and on the ground
and the stars
just witnesses to it all.
and god,
i’m always so afraid i’m doing it
wrong.
 
but
you’ll always break up with
everyone else the way someone
first broke up with you.
and i’m trying to get rid of you
but make it seamless
and i’m balancing between
rip it off
or take it slow.
 
but
no one ever prepares me
for the faces
that you make,
the scrunched up sad ones.
and no one ever prepares me
for wanting your kisses somewhere else,
somewhere farther down
even though you wanna look in my eyes.
i don’t even care about your horoscope,
that must be a sign.
 
you say we have nothing in common like
it’s mild indigestion.
i’m standing there, feeling it
all rising in my throat and wondering:
when do i stop? when do i really stop?

because staying with someone is
like watching people from
inside your house and
wanting to be them but
never coming close.
you and me, we’re a crowd
but three’s always company.
 
i don’t want to hurt you
but i’m going to.
i think you’ve come from far,
scratched up company car,
i’m ready to say the words if you are.